He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
