i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
