After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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