My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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