I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
