I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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