just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
