Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He felt like a one man threesome
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
