So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
