all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
