Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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