anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
