its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
