Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
