If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
