I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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