I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you would pick up someone in the library
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
