I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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