so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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