i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
