white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
