I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
