OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
