i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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