come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
