Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you still have your period?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
