I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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