dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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