I love black thongs
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
