Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
