I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
