You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
