1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
