All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
