Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
