O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
