Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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