Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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