awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
