she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
