I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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