Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
