...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
