we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
