i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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