Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
