Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
