Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sext me about skeletons
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
