oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
