well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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