I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
