im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
