and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
