Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
