There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
