Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Bring me that man meat
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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