is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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